Please Remember Me
by GetOutOfMyHead
Summary: Snarry oneshot. Harry and Severus try and sort out their life together. Mistakes will be fixed later. Sorry about that. R&R Please!


_**A.N: **I love this song. So much. Thanks for downloading it before WinMX was knocked off, Bubba. I skipped the chorus until the end. I just wanted to. Sorry for any mistakes. _

_**Disclaimer: **I don't own Harry Potter or Severus Snape. I just love them so much …_

Please Remember Me _is Tim McGraws song. I love that too._

_**Dedicated to Bubba. Happy Birthday!**__**

* * *

**_

**Please Remember Me**

The problems started off small. Harry wanted to go out, Severus wanted to stay in. Harry wanted to invite friends for dinner, Severus only wanted to cook for themselves. Then they got bigger. Harry wanted a house or at least a flat, Severus was happy living at Hogwarts. Harry wanted to adopt a couple of war orphans, Severus said he got enough of children when he was teaching. Little arguments became larger fights. Meals became silent affairs. The bed became colder. Steamy nights became fewer and further between.

Neither acknowledged this change. They didn't want to face the possibility of a rift having grown between them. Didn't want to think about the fact that their wants were very different and often completely opposite of each other. The first break was after a particularly bad fight about getting a flat. Harry wanted to be able to walk to work. He didn't like how little exercise he got now.

_It's less than a block away from the Ministry and Diagon Alley, and that apothecary you like so much! Why won't you just come look at it with me?_

_We have a salary of a teacher and a first-year Auror. That is not exactly a great amount, Harry._

_We can sell some of our things. We don't need this. Why did we even buy this? _

_That is an antique! I will not get rid of my things when we have perfectly good, free housing right here! Besides, exactly how much thought have you actually put into this? It is a Muggle apartment. We will have to have people in to safe-proof it against Muggle detection, wire it to the Floo network, which I might add has a monthly instalment on it, extra to get a line into Hogwarts, remodelling to account for the fumes from my potions - _

_Fine! Just forget it, alright!_

That night Harry had been extremely upset. He cleaned the dishes before Severus got a chance and went strait to bed. He didn't acknowledge Severus coming into the room later or his attempts to smooth things over with his younger lover. Finally the lights were put out and they both silently stewed.

Severus made no move until after Harry was asleep. He left the bedroom without a sound and sat in front of the fireplace with a shot of firewhiskey. There was nothing he wanted more than to make Harry happy. He didn't know why these were such negative things in his mind. How bad would it really be to raise children with Harry? What was the harm in taking out a small loan for a flat? If he wasn't boarding at the school he could ask for a pay raise. They could make it. But he just couldn't do it. It was too much of a change. It was too much. But it hurt him too much to see Harry holding in all this emotion, hurt him to see Harry hurting. To see his eyes red when he came in after classes. It was too much.

_When all our tears have reached the sea  
Part of you will live in me  
Way down deep inside my heart  
The days keep coming without fail  
A new wind is gonna find your sail  
That's where your journey starts  
_

That was the first break in Severus' mind. The first night he even thought about ending it. They were just too different. If he set Harry free, he wouldn't be tied down to an old man in ten years time, wouldn't have to worry about everything he did. He'd be able to find someone who did want to raise children, did want the hassle of paying rent and bills, simply because those things meant that they were together and in love. Those things were part of being together. It was just too different for Severus' comfort.

He went with Harry the next day. The flat was very nice, Severus had to admit. They would be able to scrape by if Severus could get a slight pay raise. And Harry was one of the best Auror's the Ministry had seen in years. It wouldn't be more then one year, two before he got a raise. They could pay for it without even having to take out a loan. This took a definite upturn for them. It sold before they put an offer in, but Harry was ecstatic about Severus' apparent new interest. Sex was back, better than ever, and dinner was a lively session as Harry recounted his jobs from the Ministry and Severus complained about how dense his new batch of Gryffindors were. They were both happy again.

The second break came almost a year later. This time Harry had put in an offer on a flat without asking if Severus wanted it. He thought Severus was serious with getting a flat now. They'd gone to several viewings together. Harry had attentively mentioned the extra rooms could be arranged for a kid's room. Severus hadn't exactly said no, so Harry had gone ahead with one that they had both liked.

_I do not want a flat, Harry. Why are you not happy here, with me?_

_I am happy with you, Severus! I love you! But I want a place that we can say is ours, that we own, we decorate and renovate. Why can't we try it?_

_Harry, we do not have the money to renovate anything. _

_But we can both get raises. They're coming up at the office, you know, and Mitchkins said I'm looking good in the books. Once we get our own place we can adopt a couple kids and -_

_Harry. I do not want children. I have told you that before._

_You're just leading me around with that, aren't you! You know how much I want kids! You haven't said anything about not wanting them in so long I thought you'd warmed up to the idea!_

_I'm not leading you around, Harry - _

_No, you are! You know what, forget it. I'm going to Hermione's tonight._

That night had been the loneliest Severus had had in a long time. He hadn't actually slept at all. When Harry got back the next morning they talked long and seriously. They both felt the rift now and knew it needed to be addressed or else they would never reconcile. They compromised. They would look for a flat in Diagon Alley, so that they wouldn't need to have any major changes done. IF they decided to adopt, the child would be older, preferably 10 and over. Severus bluntly refused to go lower then that. He couldn't handle crying babies or snivelling toddlers.

_Just like the waves down by the shore  
We're gonna keep on coming back for more  
'Cause we don't ever wanna stop  
Out in this brave new world you seek  
Oh the valleys and the peaks  
And I can see you on the top  
_

And so the rift mended. Harry cancelled his offer and started looking only in Diagon Alley ads. Then in Hogsmade ads as well. They saw a few apartments, but nothing overly nice. At least not as nice as they wanted.

Severus didn't make his decision until a year later. They'd found the perfect flat. It had three rooms, full kitchen, dining room and living room. Plenty of cupboards and space for bookshelves. There was nothing Severus could find wrong with it. Contracts were signed. Papers were stamped. Boxes were packed. And yet something was nagging at him.

He realised what it was when they were walking in Hogsmade several days later. Harry watched the families go by with longing. Not the families with older children. The ones with babies. He wanted a baby, not a kid. Severus would never be able to make him happy. Harry would never feel completed until he had a baby. Severus couldn't give him that. He just wouldn't be able to handle a baby. Snoting, drooling, pooing, screaming. It wasn't what he wanted. He wanted to relax into old age. He couldn't give Harry what he wanted, what he deserved. He couldn't expect Harry to accept this. He couldn't expect himself to accept this. They should both be with someone who shared their wants and desires. They simply no longer shared them.

Severus couldn't keep subjecting Harry to this.

_You'll find better love  
Strong as it ever was  
Deep as the river runs  
Warm as the morning sun  
Please remember me  
_

Severus spoke long and seriously with Harry. He told him he would never forgive him if they never adopted a baby. He told him how he just wanted a quiet life. He didn't want crying and running around, summer activities away from home, transporting kids around at odd times to odd places, trying to discipline young people he'd just met. He just couldn't.

Eventually Harry understood. He had known in his heart this was coming, he said. He didn't want it to, though. He wanted to stay with Severus. But he needed a family. He needed to raise children. For himself. For his part in helping the war orphans. To make him complete. Severus insisted on helping him pay for the flat until he got his larger-than-expected promotion. They tried to stay strong in front of each other, not show their pain, but twice Harry lost the façade when Severus came by the flat to drop off the galleons. Severus tried and failed both times to simply comfort and not need comfort. Both times he nearly lost himself completely in the pain and emotion. But he kept telling himself he had to do this, for both of them. He couldn't keep hurting Harry, could keep him from doing what he was meant to do.

_Remember me when you're out walkin'  
When the snow falls high outside your door  
Late at night when you're not sleepin'  
And moonlight falls across your floor  
When I can't hurt you anymore  
_

Years later they ran into each other in Diagon Alley. Harry had a 5-year-old blond boy pulling on his arm, jabbering on about his new sister and wanting to go home and see her more. Harry told of his new partner, Severus of his. They were both happy. They were both healed. Before saying goodbye again, they hugged quickly. _Thank you, Severus,_ Harry whispered before pulling away. _Thank you, Harry. _And then they were separated by the crowd, heading off to their new lives. Neither would have admitted it, but the each still carried with them worn pictures of the other. A reminder of their love. A reminder of each other. Neither wanted to forget a thing.

_You'll find better love  
Strong as it ever was  
Deep as the river runs  
Warm as the morning sun  
Please remember me  
Please remember me_


End file.
